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5 Good Reasons to Stop Second-Guessing Yourself

July 17, 2012 by

Have you ever committed to an event and had every intention of going from day one, and having a great time and then about an hour or two before, you don’t ‘feel well,’ or ‘have a headache’and begin to ‘talk yourself out of going?’

It happens to me more than I care to admit. The conversation is “I don’t feel well and they won’t miss me anyway.” It’s called second-guessing yourself.

I asked myself this question “why did I agree to go to begin with?”recently when this exact thing happened to me. I committed weeks in advance without a second thought to an event I knew I would love.

I wanted to see everyone, have a bite to eat, a glass of wine, and have some fun!

It happened one Thursday evening not long ago. My stomach really did start hurting about 2 hours prior to the event. I searched my memory banks for ‘negative’ thoughts as what we ‘think’ always shows up, one way or another, in physical form. [I caused the illness to get out of going!]

I even sent an email to the host saying I ‘may not’ be in attendance.

Then I said, “No. Not this time. I’m going!”I took 2 Tums and in seconds I felt better.

Why is this important? It is important because of what I would have missed if I had BELIEVED my old limiting beliefs that I am transparent, don’t make a difference, am not seen, and do not make a difference.

Here’s what happened that evening at the event — 5 really great reason to attend!

  • Met the building operations officer, saw the brand new training room, and discussed cost for doing workshops there. Prices seemed pretty fair. Love the location even though it’s at least 30 minutes from home. I began thinking about what kind of workshop I would host there.
  • Sat down with a dear friend to chat … she won a door prize … nice Malbec which she said she’d not drink and gave it to me.
  • Reconnected with my daughter’s childhood friend. They competed in baton from about age 6 to 18. She’s all grown up and a Ph.D.!
  • Then came an announcement. Several people were dubbed ‘experts’ and my name was called.
  • Then the big door prize as I sat behind the glass just the other side of the announcer. I had not won a prize yet so I put my fingers to both temples in an effort to channel being a winner, as a friend of mine calls it. INSISTING I win. <strong>And so it was.


Guess what the doorprize was? Three months using the training room and office, valued at $ 350/month – $ 1050!

The next time you catch yourself doing some second guessing and are working to talk yourself OUT of going somewhere you really want to be … think of me. It could not have been a more fruitful evening for so many reasons … and I would have missed a lot. [graphic at left  is me doing the 'happy' flowers dance!]
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©Leslie Flowers June 2012, exponential personal growth expert, helps mature women re-engineer their businesses and their lives by steeping them in living life with principles, virtues, and higher awareness. Faculty member in Mindset Mastery at the Ultimate Life Company, with Bob Proctor, you can catch her programs on mastermind excellence and expert goal setting and achievement at their site. You may read her archived voluminous personal growth teachings — Drops of Awareness — at PathsofChange.com, which house each step on her own path of change over the past 10 years. Enjoy Leslie’s BLOG.

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Did They Change? Or Was It You?

July 16, 2012 by

You have a mentor … someone who took you under their wingto train you in their area of expertise. Maybe you’ve had more than one.

You are grateful.

Your mentor knows so much about you, your plans, your strategies. They help you plan your business and personal growth.

You have a friend… a like-minded friend … one with whom you can talk about important things. You believe they are looking for your greatness, as you are seeking theirs.

There comes a time, however, when something doesn’t ‘feel’ quite right about beingwith them – either the mentor or the friend.

That’s your intuition … your Truth… it is the God-like piece in us (in every one of our cells, making us co-creators).

You notice your mentor stopped walking the walk! And talking the talk! When did they stop, you wonder?

You have noticed your friend talks the talk, yet when faced with giving up money to maintain their self-proclaimed integrity … nothing doing … they are taking the money!

Or have they always been out of integrity and you were not aware enough to notice it?

Or is it that YOU have grown … and they have not?

What matters here is that YOU have continued growing and moving up the mountain of conscious awareness … back toward your Oneness with all there is… just the same way you came into this world … a genius and with infinite ability.

YOU changed and grew and left them behind. Your vision of your place in the world has expanded … you see more intent, in-authenticities, and lack of values which were likely always there, but hidden from your view. You have a ‘bigger picture.’

They say people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.  Easy to say ‘let them go’ isn’t it … when you are telling another to do this?Yet these long term relationships that you so counted on are challenging to let go as the ‘desire to belong’ is strong in all of us.

As a mentor I have experienced being ‘duped’ by a person that studied with me. I missed that they simply loved money more than people. Maybe I didn’t want to see it or believe it. What do you think?

After being mentored, I have found in several cases that my own mentors were completely out of integrity, inauthentic and money lovers rather than people lovers. For what they taught me intellectually I remain grateful and always will be.

Let me be clear. If you say you love people first and use money as a tool second, it has to be that way “all the time.”When you need money, you are inauthentic and out of integrity and not living up to your values, if you allow money to compromise your values. Your needs now come first … over people, integrity and credibility.

The point here is not to second guess yourself when you get a ‘feeling’ that they have changed and are not who they purport or have been pretending to be.

  • The mentor who snatches your confidential ideas and uses them without your permission to make money for themselves.
  • The mentor who drops you when you hold their feet to the fire …  speaking back their own words to them.
  • The student who promises to share your work one way and them simply breaks their word and does the opposite of their promise.
  • The friend who ‘shows up’ initially as integrative, yet over time, whose actions prove they are really and truly coming from lack and wanting money over all other things.

Always speak your Truth. You are likely speaking for others who have not yet found the courage to express their own voice. – Leslie Flowers


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©Leslie Flowers June 2012, exponential personal growth expert, helps mature women re-engineer their businesses and their lives by steeping them in living life with principles, virtues, and higher awareness. Faculty member in Mindset Mastery at the Ultimate Life Company, with Bob Proctor, you can catch her programs on mastermind excellence and expert goal setting and achievement at their site. You may read her archived voluminous personal growth teachings — Drops of Awareness — at PathsofChange.com, which house each step on her own path of change over the past 10 years. Enjoy Leslie’s BLOG.

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Do You ‘Believe’ You Can Do It?

July 12, 2012 by

Right you are! You can!

Do you believe you cannot do it? Right again!

No wishing, praying, conjuring up spirits, or even doing a rain dance (right) will have you get what you want or dream of, if you DON’T BELIEVE you CAN.

This is not just ‘saying’ I can … but BELIEVING… in your heart of hearts (ancient Greek reference to the subconscious mind) … that you actually CAN. And that you DO have INFINITE POTENTIAL!

If you want to know WHAT you REALLY BELIEVE, just look around you. Look at your home, your bank account, your vehicle, relationships, where you vacation, etc. Those things are the perfect RELFECTION and physical “proof” of what you actually really believe about your own abilities.

So saying you CAN, yet living in a world that gives you ‘I Can’t’ results, is a big HINT that you don’t BELIEVE you CAN!

Take HEART! YOU didn’t create the childhood beliefs that still run your life today! That’s right!

It was your parents (doing the best they can of course) and loved ones who repeated their own beliefs around you before you had conscious awareness (and could reject what they were saying) that GAVE you your results!

Knowing this AND now knowing the process of HOW BELIEFS are created, now allows you to CREATE NEW BELIEFS– ones that actually SERVE you and match what you want!

Just below is a quick explanation … 6 minutes … which should, if you are READY, inspire you enough to get really CURIOUS about ‘how come others have what it is that I want.’Now you can do something about it!

And remember, we never outperform what we believe we can accomplish!

http://inside919.ning.com/video/leslie-flowers-believe-2-succeed
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©Leslie Flowers June 2012, exponential personal growth expert, helps mature women re-engineer their businesses and their lives by steeping them in living life with principles, virtues, and higher awareness. Faculty member in Mindset Mastery at the Ultimate Life Company, with Bob Proctor, you can catch her programs on mastermind excellence and expert goal setting and achievement at their site. You may read her archived voluminous personal growth teachings — Drops of Awareness — at PathsofChange.com, which house each step on her own path of change over the past 10 years. 

 

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Top 5 Ways to Start a Lasting, Effective Mastermind

July 10, 2012 by

For more than 4 years I have facilitated mastermind groups steeped in success, virtues and universal principles. Being on the mindset faculty of the Ultimate Life Company in the area of mastermind excellence, I had to become a ‘reporter.’ That is, to look over more than 30 masterminds I have facilitated, averaging 8 weeks each, with 6-15 people, to see what ‘worked’ and what ‘did not work.’

What is a mastermind?It’s when 2 or more people come together with a similar purpose or intention.

My own mastermind teachers, Bob Proctor and Paul Martinelli are expert mastermind facilitators.  Proctor uses the mastermind for collaborative partnerships, or what he calls MSIs, multiple streams of income, as we know that to be a success across the board, we need more than one stream of income to gain alacrity.

Martinelli’s own, personal mastermind developed 10 millionaires over a 4 year period.  Not only did he teach Proctor’s mastermind methods then, but went on to share them with Mary Mannin Morrissey’s international consulting team, as well as John Maxwell’s.

AND … here’s the CATCH …

It is the FOUNDATION  – the infrastructure – adopted and adhered to by all members that has a mastermind be lasting.I give my mastermind candidates that same foundation and even with that, to my knowledge only one of the 30 groups still meet on a regular basis today (3 years later). And their results have been extraordinary.  Even more fascinating, yet not really surprising – that was a group of men.

So we know even when we KNOW what to do (have the keys to creating and continuing masterminds of excellence over time) WE JUST DON’T DO IT.

If then you are considering building your own mastermind group, here are 5 key agreements  you will want to establish with your group  BEFORE YOU START  to have your ‘best shot’ at success. Without them, you “don’t have an ice cube’s chance ….” in having, creating and sustaining an effective mastermind.

Keep in mind that while everyone agrees to adhere to these agreements, it will be up to the Facilitator to keep everyone on course and BE THE ONE who keeps the group on track.

Create group intention or purpose which is read at the start of each meeting.

  1. Create a consistent schedule that includes a start and end time (minimum 60 minutes; maximum 90 minutes).
  2. Be in communication if as a candidate you will arrive late, miss a meeting, or miss a weekly paired accountability call.
  3. Freedom to step down from the mastermind group if you can no longer adhere to guidelines.
  4. All candidates MUST  ATTEND the first session and 80% of all meetings.

And remember, “Learning is the miracle grow for humans!” – Leslie Flowers


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©Leslie Flowers June 2012, exponential personal growth expert, helps mature women re-engineer their businesses and their lives by steeping them in living life with principles, virtues, and higher awareness. Faculty member in Mindset Mastery at the Ultimate Life Company, with Bob Proctor, you can catch her programs on mastermind excellence and expert goal setting and achievement at their site. You may read her archived voluminous personal growth teachings — Drops of Awareness — at PathsofChange.com, which house each step on her own path of change over the past 10 years. Leslie’s Blog.

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Two Key Attributes Mark Solid Leadership

July 9, 2012 by

Those with a deep curiosity and being in-service to others constitute attributes of solid leadership.  Accessible to us, at all times, are the answers for any question any of us may have. Curiosity seems to be the spark that forms the question necessary to take one — and then another — step up the mountain of awareness — from confusion into clarity. Then curiosity provides another question, more confusion, more clarity again, another step UP. As we approach a ‘oneness’ again with all there is, we attain a bigger vision. With vision we can be more responsive. We can evaluate and be distant emotionally from what we perceive. Vision is the bi-product of awareness.

Focus on others and their growth and greatness has us remain in service to others. After all it is not possible to be self-serving AND in-service at the same time!

Vision is the bi-product of awareness.

We each find our own Path of Change© as we ascend. There are as many Paths as there are People! First however we must intentionally start our own process of growth, inspired by a series of questions, answers, and resulting insights and awareness of our infinite and true capabilities. NEXT STEP.  Each step is a requirement to reach the deck where you begin to ascend toward your oneness and perfect co-creation  with Spirit. NEXT STEP.

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Failure IS Learning; 2 Reasons for Poor Results

July 2, 2012 by

While we are programmed that ‘failure’ is bad … by society, community, and loved ones … it’s another one of those ‘misnomers’ that the masses dictate and follow. And keep in mind if you look carefully, the masses have always been wrong about ‘everything,’ and always will be.

“If you see a group of people walking in one direction, and 2 or 3 walking in another, go with the 2 or 3! You have your best shot at success.” – Leslie Flowers

Maslow in his ‘Hierarchy of Needs,” points out that ‘belonging’ is one of our greatest human drives, so most people will do what everyone else does, and buy-into societal programming. It feels good to belong and uncomfortable taking our own road.

If however you look at the most successful people (and I am not just talking revenue; I’m talking personal health and balance, and wealth), you will find that they see failure as a BIG GREEN LIGHT!

It’s a green light to GROW, to start again, knowing more, and absolutely knowing you CAN do it!

Often they have lost great fortunes, only to rebuild them again. For the masses – most never bother to  START! Mostly because of two programmed beliefs that are simply NOT TRUE.

  1. I need to know HOW to get what I want. BLATANTLY NOT TRUE.
  2. I need to have MONEY to get what I want. BLATANTLY NOT TRUE.


We all have infinite potential. We are born with it! And then those we love and life in general feeds us a lot of mass beliefs that do not serve us in living life in balance, harmony and abundance as adults.

The next time you ‘fail,’ consider what you have learned! Through failure we muster courage to go again, learn more, become expert, and then HAVE the matching lifestyle we want!

And remember, “Learning is the miracle grow for humans!” – Leslie Flowers


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©Leslie Flowers June 2012, exponential personal growth expert, helps mature women re-engineer their businesses and their lives by steeping them in living life with principles, virtues, and higher awareness. Faculty member in Mindset Mastery at the Ultimate Life Company, with Bob Proctor, you can catch her programs on mastermind excellence and expert goal setting and achievement at their site. You may read her archived voluminous personal growth teachings — Drops of Awareness — at PathsofChange.com, which house each step on her own path of change over the past 10 years.

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What Men Know About Success of Which Women are Still Unaware

June 26, 2012 by

I got to thinking … that while women have ‘come a long way baby,’ even for 2012, still women  are paid 3/4 of what men are paid for the same work. That’s measurable.

My thoughts are around the skills and training that are not measurable … skills that have belonged to men, that gave them good results in business over time, while women were managing the home, which is a lot for sure, the men were learning about principled living, achievement, and leadership and applying it into business.

I see the application of the 100th monkey as a possibility here in that so infused over the generations is this man-to-boy training about virtues, principals and universal law, it may have become genetically inherent in today’s man. They already know it without the training.

With the significant depletion of male role models over the past 100+ years, many men find they have ‘forgotten’ some of these inherent skills and seek to rediscover them. They are the smart ones.

Whether true or not, I am clear that women are missing that vital information. It is not inherent and can be learned. I stumbled upon the tools men have been using for certainly the last 300-400 years, or maybe not. I was likely ‘guided’ to learn the tools to the extent that I become unconsciously competent in their operation and in their articulation. I am a teacher.

Franklin talked about virtuous living several hundred years ago. In fact, since the start of human society, living via virtue was always the foundation. Why? I believe because simply it makes us feel good. Reporter Hill synthesized the principles adopted by our most successful citizens about a hundred years ago, to see what it was they were doing that the rest of the population were not, and documented them in a volume noted the #1 best seller of all time, second only to the Bible. That book is Think and Grow Rich.

Now it is time for women to add these tools to theirexpertise, to finally be paid the exact same as men for the same work, and truly go toe-to-toe in the business world with men. For our children and theirs, one day it is my prayer these skills will show up inherently for women as they have for men.

  • Women stepped forward in the 50′s when my mom took her first part time job for ‘pin’ money.  Our family did not depend on it.
  • Women stepped forward in the 60′s when I flew troops into Viet Nam, sang in a rock band, and lived in San Francisco.
  • Women stepped forward in the 70′s and went to work full time (and it soon became depended upon), where we saw beginning the breakdown of the modern marriage and family.


Women CEOs know these tools. They made it their businessto learn them. And as a result they excelled.

If you are a woman who is highly curious, knows she doesn’t know a fraction of what is out there, is aware that men know many things women don’t know, and are still in confusion as to Why THEY haven’t reached full blown success as so many others have, you may want to study with me.

A number of people asked me to do a deep dive lunch and learn about these tools. I have agreed for when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

Here are the vital tools women have been excluded from learning and applying to reach success:

Principles of Success.Which are the most important? Why? And how do I apply them in my life and business to upscale my business?

Effective Goal Achievement.What we know about goal setting for achievement is minimal and ineffective. The steps for powerful goal setting are actually the OPPOSITE of what we have learned and believe and the direct cause of NOT achieving goals.

What we Believe is ALWAYS  a match to our level of success.We must be clear as to how we came to believe what we do so we can DUPLICATE  the process to create beliefs that serve success, rather than inhibit it.

Consider trading 3 hours Friday June 29to dip into each of these areas to begin your own exponential GROWTH in your own potential. You are simply ‘missing’ vital information that men have had.

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN!

REGISTER

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©Leslie Flowers June 2012, exponential personal growth expert, helps mature women re-engineer their businesses and their lives by steeping them in living life with principles and virtues. Faculty member in Mindset Mastery at the Ultimate Life company, with Bob Proctor, you can catch her programs on mastermind excellence and expert goal setting and achievement at their site. You may read her archived voluminous personal growth teachings — Drops of Awareness — at PathsofChange.com, which house each step on her own path of change over the past 10 years.

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The Power in Seeking ‘Expert Advice’

June 21, 2012 by

“The junkman took millions of dollars in ore from the mine because he knew enough to seek expert counsel before giving up.”

That quote comes form the #1 personal development best seller, Think and Grow Rich (Napoleon Hill), written 100 years ago.

Hill spent 20 years interviewing repeatedly 500 of our most successful citizens to see what was it was THEY were doing that the rest of us were not. The story was about gold mining and hitting the ‘wall’ — the gold stopped.

The mine owner sold all his equipment to the local junkman, who KNEW enough to find a geologist — an Expert. And he learned he was only 3 feet from gold! When seeking expert advice it is important to  NOT give away the whole plan or goal! Only say what you need … “why has the gold dried up?” Saying how much money is invested, how big the plot is, what you will do with the money, etc. is NOT to be shared. WHYthat is so is another blog.

I DID IT! I teach it and I know it … and 2 days ago, I DID IT!

After receiving an offer by mail to do a mortgage refinance on my home, I called. All was proceeding well via phone … looked like I’d have a windfall, pay less each month … all was wonderful. THEN … the rep said “you’ll need $ 845 up front to lock in this deal.”

MY HACKLES WENT UP!

I’ve closed on properties and done refinancing all my life and NO ONE EVER demanded cash up front. I said, “I will need 24 hours as I will have a mortgage expert review the details on my behalf.”And I did that.

While my Expert also found it unusual for money to be demanded u p front, the due diligence revealed it wasa GOOD deal.

The expert called the rep to ask a couple of questions on my behalf, one about the money up front. The rep said that it was a misunderstanding and that the cash comes out at closing. Of course it does!

As a result of insisting I pay cash up front and telling my expert quite the opposite, I have chosen to NOT do business with this company.

The deal was good! Yes! Yet the expert review made all the difference.

I don’t do business with people who appear to be “loving money, and using people,” rather than “loving people, and using money” as a tool.

Always seek expert advice. You can’t know everything. Andrew Carnegie (who hired Hill to write Think and Grow Rich) had no less than 60 experts in different fields on staff at all times! I’ve got one here, and one there. I’m using them … as they use me!

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©Leslie Flowers June 2012, exponential personal growth expert, helps mature women re-engineer their businesses and their lives by steeping them in living life with principles and virtues. Faculty member in Mindset Mastery at the Ultimate Life company, with Bob Proctor, you can catch her programs on mastermind excellence and expert goal setting and achievement at their site. You may read her archived voluminous personal growth teachings — Drops of Awareness — at PathsofChange.com, which house each step on her own path of change over the past 10 years.

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Leslie Flowers’s Posts – The 919 Business Network – Local Business Networking

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Why Successful People Ignore the “HOW!”

June 20, 2012 by

Did you know that You do NOT have to know HOW to do what is required to have what you want?

Not, that is, if it is your greatest wish to “be successful.” What does success mean to you? For me it is being ‘happy, healthy and wealthy’ in all areas of my life. I’m not one bit interested in a lot of financial riches without the rest. In Napoleon Hill’s classic Think and Grow Rich, Hill cites a group of highly financially successful US businessmen who were not happy or healthy, and all died in pretty short order. So they didn’t even get to ‘enjoy’ their riches. That’s not what I want for myself. What about you? 

Not knowing HOW has people feel very uncomfortable when going after what we want … so, we simply STOP or as many say we ‘GET STUCK.’ 

I have learned that the ‘key’ to being successful is WHY I want what I want, not HOW!

You may have noticed that what I write about is always opposite of traditional thinking. Why do I do that? Because traditional thinking is for the masses, the sheeple, the people who simply ‘get through’ life. They struggle to make ends meet which most often causes illness and no certain success or measurable results. Anyone can become more aware by learning, but alas, the masses do not see the value in continued learning. That’s why there are so many of them!  

And I have perfect Faith (from measurable personal and client results) that whenever there is a yes, a ‘no’ exists simultaneously. Where there is a bad economy, there is also, and at the same time, a fluorishing economy! WE get to say which it is! If we go along with everyone else, the masses, we’ll be wrong as they always have been and always will be.

Opposites … let’s take SMART Goals setting as example. It’s the perfect example of how mass mentality while pervasive, simply does not work!

Used in the automobile industry for decades … did it work? You tell me! That method does not work for corporations, small businesses, micro businesses or entrepreneurship.

Two of the 5 steps are simply inaccurate and do not lead to success. Yet it is still and was what the masses were using for mass results. If you are a success, you are not using that method. 

You don’t have to be Ready! You must start NOW regardless of circumstances! You do not need money to start on your dream … another opposite! Most say, when I get this, have that, or kids are out of school … then I’ll start. It’s all about not knowing HOW. It’s “doing it afraid!” that makes a successful outcome!

You must have a desire or focus .. that’s the AIM.

You must take immediate action … that’s the FIRE.

You must be READY for reaping what you have planted!

Even the logo below is the opposite of what we ‘thought!’

The only HOW we need is one or two steps toward what we want. 

THE HOW COMES ‘to you’ ONLY and once you are in ACTION, and not 1 second before.

logo creationOut of the box thinking leads to higher awareness of our infinite potential as human beings.

“Learning is the miracle grow for humans!”

Come join me Friday June 29, 11:30 – 2 pm at RallyPoint for lunch and lots of learning. I’ll do a deep dive into tried-and-true success principles, goal setting that actually leads to true achievement, and how what we believe gives us what we have. $ 39 includes lunch and materials. In private room at RP. REGISTER

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©Leslie Flowers June 2012, exponential personal growth expert, helps mature women re-engineer their businesses and their lives by steeping them in living life with principles and virtues. Faculty member in Mindset Mastery at the Ultimate Life company, with Bob Proctor, you can catch her programs on mastermind excellence and expert goal setting and achievement at their site. You may read her archived voluminous personal growth teachings — Drops of Awareness — at PathsofChange.com, which house each step on her own path of change over the past 10 years.

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Meet the Sheeple!

June 19, 2012 by

The word ‘sheeple’ is such a juicy one! It describes those who live in survival, day to day, on the lowest rungs of conscious awareness. If these are the folks you are hanging out with … consider that you are a ‘match’ to and for them. Enjoy this!

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